Good Bye Catie

Today is one of the saddest days I think i'll ever experience. We have 3 dogs... mine, dasiy, is a yorkie and is like 11. Catie, tylers, is a mini shnauzer (10) and Skye, travis's, mini shnauzer (3)... all are like family... litterally. they slept with us, rode in the car with us, sat on the couch with us... cuddled us when we had a bad day, played with us and gave us sooooo many memories. Catie was put down today... her heart was enlarged and cutting off her treacha and fluid filled her lungs. The last few days she got progressivly worse, so today i was headed home to go say good bye... only thats when i got "the call"... they put her down earlier and didn't want to call me at work... i never got to say good bye. I know alot of people don't understand, and i dont expect them too but i feel like i just lost a sibling, best friend, etc. I have no idea if dogs go to heaven, so im just holding on to that option to sooth myself... AHH its way too hard.

Death

Many of you don't know but I work in a group home providing direct care for 4 of the most amazing people you will ever meet. They are all low functioning and are not verbal, but they have each taught me so much about life. They have become a part of my family, my passion, and my career.
2:45am my phone rang on 12/8. I looked and it was work. Since we have had a quite a few hospitalizations in the past few months i was just thinking it was a call to say that someone was in the hospital and I needed to go there at 6 instead of the house. However, I was incredibly wrong. My favorite resident passed away last night. Trouble (what we will call him for hippa reasons) always knew how to make you smile, wither it was the deep ho ho ho that meant he had done something bad, a chuckle when you dropped something, or him just goofing around with you. I have never had a job that I looked forward to going to, got up at 430AM daily and worked some ungodly hours oct-beg of dec.
When I got the call I didn't know how to handle it, I have been blessed to not have dealt with death first hand at all through out my life. I was always really young when great grandparents and others passed. I felt sick and was not sure if I wanted to go say good bye or just stay home. Being I am not one that likes to cry in front of people I decided I would go comfort people and say good bye.
My 35 min drive seemed like forever and it felt like the car never warmed up, Trouble was supposed to be ok... I thought we where making progres.
This story is long and I have too much going through my head, so im going to try to sleep and ill get the rest out later.
Pray for my coworkers and other residents, this is a SUPER hard time!